Archive for category Sex & Sexuality
When Human Laws Trump “God’s” Laws
Posted by Lance Haley in Catholic Church, Cultural Issues, Ethics, Legal & Justice, Morality, Pedophilia, Religion, Religion & Spirituality, Sex & Sexuality, Sexual Deviancy, The Pope on June 30th, 2010
GRIM REAPER TAKES VATICAN TO COURT
How in God’s name did The Vatican ever get sovereign status?
Oh, that’s right, they got it in God’s name.
Then on Monday, the U.S. Supreme Court was silent on The Vatican claim that is was entitled to hide behind the shield of immunity, allowing a Federal Appellate Court’s ruling against the Church to stand. Finally, their day of legal reckoning is near at hand.
As we like to say here in America, “See you in court, Pope.”
Oh, and Hell is not too far behind.
Remember: Bring your own ice.
The Vatican is Damning It’s Pedophile Priests to Hell?
Posted by Lance Haley in Catholic Church, Cultural Issues, Legal & Justice, Morality, Pedophilia, Religion, Religion & Spirituality, Sex & Sexuality, The Pope on June 1st, 2010
VATICAN CITY - a monument to religious exploitation and corruption
The Vatican’s Prosecutor for Clerical Sex Abuse had the utter temerity to announce that it’s pedophile priests will suffer eternal damnation in Hell for their sins.
It’s time the Vatican look in the mirror, if they want to talk about eternal damnation. Besides, the Pope already vicariously damned humanity some ten years ago in his declaration titled DOMINUS IESUS. Does he not now possess the spiritual courage to turn his own judgment upon himself?
Any mea culpa (apology) forthcoming – and rumors have it that the Pope is preparing one - should best fall on deaf ears. It would be like O.J. Simpson admitting today that he murdered his wife. We can choose to forgive. But in situations like these, we should never forget who offered the apology; sociopathological humans are only interested in preserving their own well-being – most often to the detriment of all others.
Want further proof? Here is another Vatican document from 2000, that serves to underscore the hypocrisy of these men and their institution – the INTERVENTION BY THE HOLY SEE DELEGATION AT THE II CONFERENCE ON THE COMMERCIAL EXPLOITATION OF CHILDREN.
It’s so pathetic, you are not sure whether to laugh or cry. Brace yourself. Here are some select quotes from that document:
“Children are by nature lovely, innocent, and trusting of adults, yet some of them are today increasingly robbed of their very childhood . . . [they] are never consenting sexual partners; they are always victims. The Convention on the Rights of the Child underlines this fact: the best interest of the child is always the key.” (So why did you bury these allegations on at least one occasion, stating that “the good of the universal church” was an important consideration - as in more important than the best interest of children)?
“Sexual abuse is evil, a criminal act, and punishable.” (So why didn’t you affirm this universally-accepted principle over the past fifty years, by ordering the clergy to immediately report any allegations of sexual abuse of children by your priests to legal authorities)?
“We must gather much more political will to combat these crimes against our weakest, and we must strengthen both international law, instruments of extradition and extra-territoriality.” (One must then conclude that Jeffrey Lena, the U.S. lawyer representing the Pope and The Vatican, has not been apprised of this position given that he has raised the doctrine of sovereign immunity as a defense against any and all legal liability in the matter of John V. Doe v. The Holy See)?
Once we see human beings as objects, once we forget that they have been created by God with an unalienable dignity, they can simply be used and abused. Sexual abuse of children is the logical extreme of such a view of the human being. (So after intentionally objectifying human beings for over one thousand years in furtherance of it’s agenda to wield spiritual power over mankind, and for its own financial gain, we should not be surprised that The Vatican’s tolereance of the sexual abuse of children by its own clergy was a “logical extension” of that view? That actually makes perfect sense in this context.)
“We must foster . . . ‘the reinforcement of positive cultural, religious and moral values and practices, which protect and promote the rights and the dignity of both girls and boys’.” (So where were those values and practices for the past one thousand years)?
Memo to the Pope and the Vatican: Some human beings have now expressly decided to eat from the fruit of the tree of knowledge. In our quest, we have awakened to the understanding that it is high time for the viper to slither down from the apple tree, and crawl back under the rock from whence it came.
Metaphorically speaking, the Devil’s identity has been sufficiently revealed.
It’s time for you to go (back) to Hell . . . forever.
What the Hell Are You Thinking to Yourself . . .
Posted by Lance Haley in Humor, Psychology & Mental Health, Sex & Sexuality on May 21st, 2010
INTERNATIONAL SYMBOL FOR ASKING FOR SEX
Has Professor Barry Komisaruk lost his freakin’ mind?
This guy is a professor of psychology at Rutgers University. His area of research is focused on woman who literally are capable of thinking themselves to orgasm. Now he wants to take the findings from his research so that other women can learn to do the same thing.
No, I am NOT kidding.
My initial reaction was the more visceral one; damn, now she really won’t need me anymore. I will not even be able to beg and get laid. Money? “Nope!” Cars? “Whatever, sucker.” Nothing will work. Between her fingers, the toys, and that space between her ears, I am toast. Do you hear me, Barry?!?
TOAST!
But then I started “thinking about it” (YES, pun intended).
Maybe I can engage her in a little guided imagery; you know, “you are getting very horny . . . “, and all that stuff. Next thing you know, she is telling all her girlfriends that I can bring her to the Big O without even touching her. I become a legend in my own mind; and in the wider community of the female persuasion. I see myself making oodles of money off this gig, teaching other women to get themselves off “without ever so much as moving a finger” (YES, another pun intended). I can put out a DVD. And do seminars. I will be rich, famous, and the talk of women all over the world.
Then it hits me like a freakin’ sledgehammer! I will be a pariah in the man’s world. They will curse my name. I will have a bounty on my head, and live in fear of ever stepping out into the real world. My life will be a living Hell.
Worst of all . . . I will never get my buddies to play golf with me again. Have I lost my freakin’ mind? What the Hell was I thinking to myself?
OK, girls. Go ahead. Think for yourselves.
Just don’t tell anyone you heard it from me!
Another Conservative Family Values Guy Falls Victim to the Irresistable Lure of the Forbidden Fruit
Posted by Lance Haley in Conservatives, Cultural Issues, Humor, Morality, Politics, Religion, Religion & Spirituality, Republicans, Sex & Sexuality on May 18th, 2010
DA COOCHIE MONSTA
COOCHIE: a term referencing part of the female anatomy located anterior to the rectum and posterior to the lower abdomen, between the upper thighs. It is an opening, varying in size and appearance, that is commonly used for the sexual gratification of the male species; or in the case of the female species, when stimulated by small appendages, mechanically vibrating devices, certain vegetables, cigar holders, or other assorted cylindrical-shaped objects (Yes, I used a little poetic license in crafting part of this definition, for all you plagiarism detectives).
Another one bites the dust . . .
What is up with these Conservative Family Values guys? First, they go after President Bill Clinton in the 1990’s. Hey, Newt Gingrich - do you recall leading the charge, after dumping your cancer-ridden first wife for some young coochie, and just prior to dumping your second wife for another newer piece of coochie? Now days they just act contrite only AFTER they have been outed. Senators David Vitter and John Ensign, as well as Governor Mark Sanford all come to mind - and those are just a few of the more recent Republican Bible-thumping philanderers.
What is even more incredulous is the fact that today’s Conservative Family Values guy – Republican Congressman Mark Souder (R-IN) – recorded a video with his little coochie-girl, advocating abstinence. Oh yea, she was also on his Congressional Staff – obviously both literally and figuratively.
So what I gleen from all of this is that abstaining from abstinence and abstaining from marital fidelity are not morally equivalent for these guys? What great role models for our kids – eh, Sarah and Bristol Palin?
A few little nuggets of wisdom for all you moral hypocrites:
1) A man is just a human being with two heads and only enough blood to run one of them at a time;
2) There usually ain’t enough prayer in the world to resist the call of the sirens (“wild coochie”). Just ask Ulysses. Approximately 3000 years ago, this dude had himself tied to the mast of a ship by his sailors so as not to succumb to the desires of the flesh brought on by the beckon call of these seductresses; in the process, he damn near lost his freakin’ mind trying to resist the temptation to throw caution to the wind – as in throw his sorry ass into the ocean -so he could swim to shore just to get in on some of that action. Legend had it that it meant certain death (NO SH!T, geniuses – as in expensive and painfully public divorces?);
3) Coochie Monsters are born, not made. They are called men.
See you all in Hell!
P.S. Bring your own ice.
Christian Right-Wing Homophobe Apparently Likes Carrying Well-Endowed Rentboy’s “Luggage”
Posted by Lance Haley in Conservatives, Cultural Issues, Culture Wars, Fox News, Humor, Media & Communication, Religion, Religion & Spirituality, Sex & Sexuality on May 9th, 2010
“Me Thinks Thou Dost Protest Too Loudly”
– paraphrase of quote from William Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”
George Rekers has been one of America’s most vehemently anti-gay activists over the past three decades. He is also a Baptist minister, co-founder of the ultra-conservative Family Research Council – which holds the annual Values Summit, and he is a professor of neuropsychiatry at the University of South Carolina – that bastion of intellectual curiosity. Well OK, at the very least maybe closeted sexual curiosity.
But I digress . . .
He shops at Rent-A-Boy – Rentboy.com - anytime he needs a luggage handler. Of course, Rekers denies that it was anything untoward or sexual in nature. He just needed a little help after having surgery with carrying all that heavy luggage while on vacation – or was it the other way around? Sure looks like he recovered quickly from that surgery. And his boy-toy seemed to equivocate regarding the nature of their little 10 day jaunt together through Europe when confronted by a reporter.
Besides, I suspect the boy-toy’s “luggage” was the heavier of the two, and he needed Rekers’ help to “pack-it tight” every night.
I cannot wait to hear Sean Hannity or Ann Coulter spin this one on Fox News: “Oh, you Left-wing, Liberal media-types need to quit focusing on such insignificant details, and get your heathen minds out of the gutter. You always try to make everything so political.”
You mean like Republican Senator Larry Craig’s “reach-under” in a men’s restroom at the Minneapolis Airport in 2007?
However, the story does end on a positive note. Hey George, you just made the list of America’s Top 10 Homophobes Outed From the Closet. And you went straight up the chart to # 1 . . . probably while sitting atop your boy-toy’s ”perfectly built 8 inch cock” (those are his words, George, not mine).
Let me guess . . . you use that “8 inch rod” to hang all your Hawaiian shirts on?
Catholic Church’s “Geographical Cure” for Priest Sex Scandal
Posted by Lance Haley in Catholic Church, Cultural Issues, Ethics, Morality, Pedophilia, Religion, Religion & Spirituality, Sex & Sexuality, Sexual Deviancy, The Pope, crime on April 23rd, 2010
A Picture (Chart) is Worth a Thousand Words
An Associated Press investigation has uncovered 30 separate cases where pedophile priests have been transferred out of their parish or overseas.
One American victim was raped numerous times by a priest when he was a young boy over 50 years ago in a Massachusetts parish. The monster who raped him was quietly transferred to the jungles of Brazil – claiming that he was miraculously “cured” by divine intervention. All while ministering to half-naked children in the jungle.
As for “cures”, the victim offered the best moniker thus far regarding the Vatican’s solution to their public relations problem these past fifty years:
The “Geographical Cure“.
I suppose that too was “Divine Intervention“?
So Can You Put Red-Knit Stockin’s On That There Little Filly, Pardner?
Posted by Lance Haley in Humor, Sex & Sexuality, Sexual Deviancy on April 22nd, 2010
And you thought bestiality (Zoophilia) was the sole province of sheep herders and lonely cowboys . . .
P.S. It should come as no surprise that one of the “participants” came from Tennessee. Wonder if he was a Republican, too?
Republican’s Will Repeal Health Care Reform by Supporting the “Local Ballet” and Rolling the Dice
Posted by Lance Haley in 2010 Election, 2012 Election, Campaigns, Conservatives, Cultural Issues, Culture Wars, Morality, Sex & Sexuality on April 1st, 2010
You know how Republicans get that insidiously evil “Obamacare” Health Reform Bill overturned?
First, you have to have a bit of a kick-off party at the Voyeur, as well as be willing to roll the dice again and take a walk on the wild side in West Hollywood. All to the tune of approximately $2000. And that price does not even include the $30k for hotel rooms at the Beverly Hills Hotel and the Four Seasons Beverly Wilshire.
I mean, this is important stuff. The future of our great country hangs in the balance. They will spare no expense in saving this country. Don’t you understand? These are Republicans. However, they do stand for fiscal restraint. So they will make sure you got your monies worth while preserving Freedom and Liberty, as well as keeping those young scantily-clad girls with whips and chains fully employed.
After all, even those girls are good Capitalists
And I do mean FULLY employed – don’t forget that these establishments are open all night, and the girls dance ’til the crack of dawn. They know they have to keep “the wheels greased” and get their ”hands a little dirty” in order to keep this broken, worthless “Socialist” economy running long enough to get a Republican back into the Whitehouse.
And surely you don’t think these good Republicans would let that opulent hotel suite go to waste on just themselves, do you? You know that in their heart-of-hearts they believe in the theory of “trickle-down” economics . . . when they spend big, everyone benefits. Besides, when it comes to some things, even a Republican has a little ”Socialist” deep down inside of him. After all, charity starts at home . . . or on the road, as the case may be.
And speaking of deep down inside . . . it’s important to educate these nice young ladies from the “ballet” with some deep and meaningful conversation regarding how Obama is ruining the economic foundations and moral fiber of this country, and then give her some $100 bills for her “lobbying” efforts, and call room service for another round of those awesome $45 Cuba Libres.
Hey, not that I object to hanging out with young, scantily-clad women. For goodness sakes, I too am a red-blooded American male. You see, the difference is that we Liberals don’t have the moral hangups most Conservatives do, and we don’t write it off or hide it. We just pay for it ourselves – WITH CASH - and then we do not have to answer to anyone!
Ummm . . . including our wives or significant others. 
P.S. As an aside, about 10 years ago while on a week-long golf junket with my Conservative buddies, I was tossed out of one these “ballet clubs”. All for a silly prank – nothing untoward or obscene. In fact, that little joint on Hilton Head Island let me back in the next night with a promise from me that I would “mind my manners” – while reminding me that they could get their license pulled for my silly antics. The dancer that I was acting up with the night before told me with a smile that I was a “very naughty boy”. I proudly laughed, and all was forgiven.
Thunderous Applause by Utah Republicans for House Majority Leader’s “Honesty”?
Posted by Lance Haley in Campaign Finance Reform, Campaigns, Cultural Issues, Ethics, Government, Morality, Politics, Sex & Sexuality on March 12th, 2010
Let me get this straight?
Kevin Garn, Utah’s 55 year old Republican Majority House Leader, sat naked in a hot tub when he was 28 years old, with a 15 year old female employee. It was all just a “spur of the moment” skinny dip, and nothing sexual happened, according to Garn. Garn then paid the woman $150,000 eight years ago, during his 2002 U.S. Congressional campaign, to keep quiet about the incident (yes, she extorted money from him).
This week it all become very public when the woman went public with the story anyway. And only now is Garn apologizing. For the both the prior unlawful adult-child “indiscretion”, as well as for the subsequent payment of “hush money” in 2002. So how do fellow Republicans respond to his involuntary act of contrition in the Legislative chambers of the Utah House of Representatives?
With “thunderous applause for his honesty and embraced him.” Even Utah’s Speaker of the House, Dave Clark, was moved to tears. And the Utah Governor’s spokesperson said they would not be asking for his resignation.
Wait! It gets even better. Garn said “now that this issue is coming up again, it is apparent to me that this payment was also a mistake.” Because it was wrong? Or because it did not work? Irony of ironies . . . Garn was the House’s designated leader this year for several ethics proposals designed to restore their constiuent’s faith in Utah’s Legislature after a recent spate of alleged claims of political bribery. Garn is still hopeful he can get re-elected. And obviously, so are his political peers.
They just do not get it, people . . .
and apparently neither do we, the electorate.
SHAME ON US!
Golf Writers Association of America Relegated to Covering What Covers John Daly’s “Junk”
Posted by Lance Haley in Cultural Issues, Get a Life America, Humor, Media & Communication, Morality, Sex & Sexuality, Sports on February 23rd, 2010
After trying this past weekend to breathe life back into a PGA golf tour that is currently on life-support, the Golf Writers Association of America (GWAA) finally found a story they could really jump head first into today – as in collectively sticking their craniums up John Daly’s boxer shorts - and this story is one they didn’t feel so self-righteous about that they had to stage a boycott.
Thank God. The $$$ was starting to run out. Does anyone in the GWAA wonder why?
Memo to GWAA President Vatan Kupelian: Maybe if all you ostensibly principled golf journalists did not act so indignant over not having the liberty to ask “important questions” regarding the personal life of a golfer, you might not be relegated to having John Daly’s underwear endorsement deal be one of the top golfing news stories on a Monday following a relatively important PGA tournament.
Translation: Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
P.S. Vaten – since having the liberty to make inquiries about one’s personal life seems to be beyond the boundaries of what you consider to be within the realm of decency, why don’t you ask John Daly if he has “skid marks” in his Slix?