A senior Vatican official was recently quoted as saying that ‘There is growing alarm within the Vatican and especially the Holy Father that not enough prominence is being given to basic Christian and family values by governments.”
Really?
So now the headlines reveal another clergy sex scandal developing in Ireland where it appears the cover-up has been going on for over 30 years. The Pope says he is “deeply disturbed and distressed” by this report – which is code for ”The Vatican is circling the wagons, and engaging in damage control on a scale similar to Tiger Woods’ legal team.” What the Vatican is banking on is that Tiger was banging on far more sluts than the number of ten year old boys the Irish Clergy were buggering.
You see, these sex scandals are all relative in this day and age – even the Catholic Church understands that boys and girls can be sacrificed on the alter of indifference in order to preserve the reputation and sanctity of their holy institution. In one instance, an Irish Bishop recently lied on television, stating that The Church had previously informed civil authorities about a priest who was known to have raped two little girls in his diocese, when in fact the Bishop had intentionally covered-up the whole matter. When the Bishop was asked about the circumstances regarding the handling of these allegations within his diocese, he stated that it has always been “tickedy-boo” – that’s slang for “just fine”.
Remember, back in 2002, the Vatican held a conference to address the issue of the sex abuse scandals that rocked the Catholic Church Dioceses in the United States. Did the Church’s other dioceses around the world not get that memo?
Comedian Greg Giraldo probably has the most poignant commentary regarding the Catholic Church’s handling of the clergy sex-abuse problem in the U.S. at the beginning of this decade (and I paraphrase):
“The Catholic Church just held a two-day conference in Rome at the Vatican in order to address the clergy sex-abuse scandal. What the Hell were they talking about for two days? I could have done this in about 10 seconds . . . ‘HEY . . . no more F$%king 10 year old boys. Any questions’?”
Memo to the Pope: Let’s just say it like it is . . .
You have no concern for Christian or family values. In fact, do not even pretend that you have any concern for the countless young boys and girls around the world who have been sexually assaulted by your minions the past 1000 years, and then summarily thrown under the proverbial bus. The only thing you and your hypocritical predecessors have ever given a damn about is the church’s image.
I want to be buried with a fan and a bottle of Glenlivet scotch because I know where I am going when I die - I will be sitting on a bench in front of my fan, sipping on my scotch, watching from a front-row seat as you religious hypocrites burn, baby, burn for all your sins and iniquities.
Now you may ask, “How do you know they have electricity down there?” I say, “How do you know they don’t?”
See you all in Hell. 
Bring your own ice.